Brandon Plotz, 24, does covers for money on the boardwalk in Ocean City. He says the teenagers want to hear Jason Mraz, the Moms want to hear “brown eyed girl” by Van Morrison, and the dads always want the Eagles, but Brandon will not ever play the Eagles.
“i actually pursued a lawsuit against Don Henley for abuse.”
Casual Men: Do you meet weird beach locals alot?
Brandon: Yea, today I met the weirdest guy.
CM: Wha’ happen?
Brandon: So i walk to the boardwalk every day past this guy that has an herb garden and i usually clip for myself a sizable sprig of parsley or cilantro that i chew on while i walk. So, i pick one off and I’m walking and i hear some footsteps behind, really clodding along…heavy thuds like big boots or something.
Brandon: Yea so they start gaining on me, and i’m like ok whatever, but then they’re right behind me and the guy starts passing me, but doesn’t pass me all the way. He’s just ahead of me and keeps slyly looking at me, turning his head slightly you know.
CM: What did this individual look like? Did he have a side part?
Brandon: No, no. He was like a ginger-thug. Red head with freckles, but like thugg’d out; big boots and big, shiny denim pants. Some weird black t-shirt with writing on it. Chinstrap, ginger strap of course, and a hat on. Maybe orioles i dunno. And this guy had something in his hands, wrapped up in a white t-shirt and it was moving around.
So he’s looking at me with his eyes brows going up and down, kind of smiling, like he wants me to notice him. I got the parsley sticking out of my mouth and he’s like
I’m like “sprig of parsley.”
And i look again at what’s in his hands, squirming around and i’m like
He goes, real matter of factly “four foot black snake.”
We’re still walking along you know, like he’s just ahead of me and kind of turning his head to talk so i’m keeping it really casual too and not stopping to make a big deal out of it and i just kind of go
“some big snake, shit.”
He’s like “yea just caught it back that way.”
Im like “uh huh.”
He goes “you wanna buy it?”
CM: Did you?
Brandon: I didn’t have any cash yet, cuz i was on my way to the boardwalk.