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"eh, we cool?"

"eh, we cool?"

Lane Greenhawk, 23, is a pro skater who was recently on that skating festival that has lots of bands and tours the country. BUT, more interestingly, he was the skateboarding friend of Aimee Kiedis from a few posts ago: the guy who defended her in the bar against her neon-clad assailants.

Casual Men: So what really happened that night in the bar?

Lane: Well you mean before i got in dudes face?

CM: Yes, how did it start…

Lane: Well, ill be honest wit’ you man. I hate altercations. But these Frat boys in neon sheep clothes were hassling Aimee and making fun of her.

but foreal, my homie Aimee was yellin shit like “suck my dial! ill vagina-tize your neon getup, you fuckin’ get up kid, you fucking BeeGee on ice dip-lo. Andy Gibb looking, saturday night fever ass Mars Tra-Volta!

…i thought it was gonna turn into a brawl. She was on her chair yellin that shit. That girl was spittin’ some flames at these dudes. In her defense, she had like 4 or 5 deleriums, and you can do like two things on that stuff which is fight and make out.

CM: So those guys got pissed? These neon characters…

Lane: They thought she was just there with her girlfriends or something, and she put some weird ass ska music on the jukebox and they started makin fun of her sayin’ she was comin’ from the Lilith Fair, which doesnt even make sense because that was a folk festival basically. So me and my homie Pickles went and settled it.

CM: what did you say to them?

Lane: Pickles was just like “eh, we cool?” and they got real nervous and started being like “yea man yea man. its all good. bla bla bla” and then they even bought her a drink, but she kept calling this one dude “Plutarch” like in a real condescending way.

Colors of the wind.

i got you, beavis.

i got you, beavis.

Haley Duckworth, 26, would have been a difficult interview if our minds weren’t connected to the same mother-brain; you see, i tend to steer the conversations to get  my subjects to discuss what i have pre-determined to be their essential topic. We arrived naturally at this: our essential topic…

Casual Men: We should get some hacker clothes, like silver puffy jackets and stuff.

Haley: Yea and then go to colonial williamsburg and pretend we’re from the future.

Casual Men: Yea and be like “PLEASE WE HAVE TO FIND JOHN SMITH!

Haley: IT IS IMPERATIVE HE DOES NOT TAKE POCAHONTAS TO ENGLAND!”

Casual Men: “I HOPE I DONT RUN INTO MY ANCESTORS!”

Haley: POCAHONTAS! YOU SHOULD MARRY KOCOUM! SERIOUSLY YOU ARE GOING TO GET SMALL POX!”

Casual Men: Doesnt small pox sound like something cute?

Haley: Yea thats like how ‘Peeping Tom’ sounds cute, like a Dick Van Dyke sort of guy on his tip toes just having a little peep at you.

in ska we trust.

in ska we trust.

Alex Dangerfield-Herrerez, 21, is a student and deejay. She says deejaying is fun, but misses being in a ska band named after a teacher that everyone hated (like lynard skynard?) The dream back then was to play the HFStival, now in the sad wake of the radio age she finds herself skimming the stations for some distant echo of a horn section, but to no avail.

Casual Men: What was your first tape?

Alex: Green Day. Followed by Weezer, and immediately followed by Save Ferris.

CM: Not nirvana?

Alex: My living memories of Nirvana are pretty incredulous, even if you’re like 25 now, are you gonna tell me you were grunge at 11 years old. Im tired of referring to what happens to be the ‘cooler’ half of the decade. None of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones killed themselves man.

CM: The later half of the 90s is marked by a certain stability isnt it. A certain oblivious and candidly ‘uncool’ feeling, even though grunge was supposedly the most casual it could get…it seemed like grunge is full of glamorous rock stars that hated themselves…

Alex: Zuit suit riot is all im sayin’!

Get the message.

its only temporary.

its only temporary.

Sussana “Suze” Domanski, 24, wanted to be a veejay until she was a teenager and witnessed the arrival of Ravin’ Raymond Munz. She says MTV ended that day, for her at least. For those that make being a teenager a real occupation, to be a slacker into the new century would take a great deal of self-direction and steadfast dedication to keeping it casual.

Casual Men: Its not about fashion, is it?

Suze: Well fashion just means that whatever you’re talking about is eventually going to die and dissapear, and the things that really describe me are pretty elemental, i mean, continuous. Anyway, shut up. I thought you were going to ask me about….remember…what i told you…

CM: The messages! I dont fully understand yet.

Suze: My phone is cursed, or blessed, its hard to say which. Its like a Romani put a little spell on it or something.

CM: thats racist.

Suze: Im sorry, a wizard put a spell on it. Fuck you. So this is it:  I get a lot of wrong numbers calling me, more than most people. I dont know why, but there are two specific women who call me A LOT and leave messages even though i’ve told them its the wrong number. They both leave messages for these guys.

CM: Like romantic?

Suze: Ok, the one woman who is romantic is always saying shit like “i need you to give me a ride to the animal hospital tomorrow, i dont have my car this week. if you dont call me back ill know you cant do it. please call me back, i never hear from you anymore. i wish you could come over tonight, etc etc”…and i get these things and theyre so interesting that i dont want it to end, but its like, he’s not calling her back because she is obviously calling me and not him.

CM: right, and so the other one?

Suze: Its a woman calling some guy named Marble Smith. She calls to say that he didn’t come and shovel her walk way or cut her lawn like he said he would do. All these complaints all the time about this guy not showing up to do his chores. I swear to god these things are like amazing. I dont know what to do about it, they keep coming and when i see the number flashing on my phone im like “shit, do i end this now or do i get myself another message.”

CM: it seems wrong to me.

Suze: i hate you.

Croque Madame

the suits are pickin' up the bill.

the suits are pickin' up the bill.

Aimee Kiedis, 26, works in a consignment shop and as a personal assistant to a Lawyer/Mom in Tenleytown.  She eats at the same diner once a week to have Croque Monsieur, but takes the egg off every time. “there is nothing more disgusting to me in the world than an egg.”

Casual (men?): What did you do last night?

Aimee: I got drunk off my nose. I kept playing Squirrel Nut Zippers on the jukebox and these buttplugs wearing neon were hassling me about it but then my skater friend said he was going to fight them and they shut up about it. I was like haaa haaa, and i put on “Hell” two times in a row.

CM: I love a place with a jukebox. Mostly because i like rock and roll and nobody plays rock and roll.

Aimee: S’true dude. I love picking the music. I used to go to Wonderland and put 15 dollars in the jukebox, this is in like 2005, and my friends and me would buy it up for like 17 hours. That ruled.

CM: I wish the velvet lounge got the jukebox working.

Aimee: i know, it has coolio on it.

Max ruminates on the past week's rut.

Max ruminates on the past week's rut.

Max F. Denning, 21, lives in a house full of queer activists in Columbia Heights. He doesn’t consider himself an activist (actually he ended up living there after a sudden drug arrest left a room vacant right around rent-time) and he says he has so far loved the atmosphere, and started a band called The Free-Wheelin’ Rock-a-doodles.

“I’d say we sound kind of like the Travelin’ Wilburys”


Casual Men: What happened in here?

Max: You mean how did it get clean?

CM: When i met you at your party, this room looked like there were runaway teens living in it.

Max: Well, i was in a rut. I was in a real bad rut for like a week and i didnt clean anything up, plus we got drunk in here like 5 times which always tears a room to shit.

CM: So, you were depressed, in a rut as you said, and your room was a mess, and i’m assuming you were not hanging out a lot…

Max: No i was ignoring cell phone calls, watching online TV and basically, i mean really being lazy. I ordered food for all my meals which left me kind of broke but i didnt care. As long as i could stay in bed i didnt care. I was lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

CM: So what, you hired a maid?

Max: No i got out of the rut. It was amazing how quickly i got out of it.

CM: Please, do go on…

Max: First i got the clothes off my floor and put them away or into a hamper. That makes a huge difference and after that you can clean your room in 5 minutes. Then i threw out all the garbage on the floor. After that i put on a nice outfit, even though i didnt feel nice, i put on a really dressy thing and i went down the street and bought three scented candles. I was feeling a little better and they had free hot tea samples at the candle place so i was feeling a little better. On the way back i ran into two girls i know and i actually stopped and chatted which is really hard for me, but i forced myself to chat. Then i made one last stop to buy a small present for all my housemates, which will always make you feel really good.

CM: Is it a sort of…lazy busyness, a casual errand, that gets you out of it?

Max: Its like rocking a car in the snow.

I got you babe.

I got you babe.

Casual Men has been interviewing men for about 27 posts now.

The original idea was this: to interview casual men.

The new idea is this: to interview the casual. (this now can include anyone, even girls)

to celebrate, here is this now: